


Day 3 - Roommates

by pyske



Series: Bokuroo Week 2016 [3]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: April Fools' Day, Established Relationship, Humor, M/M, Pranks and Practical Jokes, Roommates
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-05
Updated: 2016-04-05
Packaged: 2018-05-31 09:24:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,997
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6464821
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pyske/pseuds/pyske
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>On April Fool's Day, Kuroo and Bokuto declare war on each other. Pranks after pranks, the roommates try to survive jumpscares, dyed hair and terrible ghost pepper nuggets.</p><p>This is really self-indulgent and (I tried) to make it funny. They are basically trying to pull off the worst pranks they can think of.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Day 3 - Roommates

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry this took so long, I was busy with a chemistry thing for school...Anyways, I'm going to post the prompt for Day 4 yesterday if I'm able to. I hope you enjoy this! Kuroo and Bokuto are huge dorks and I love them. Sorry in advance for the potential typos, IT IS 1AM AND I AM STRUGGLING.

_Kuroo: bro i need help please rescue me_

_You: man, what’s wrong????  where are you, why aren’t you in our room???_

_Kuroo: i needed to shit but you were already in the bathroom so i went to the one on our floor but now the toilet is blocked and people are knocking at my door telling me that if i don’t come out soon they are breaking in SEND HELP_

_You: OKAY MAN I’M COMING, I’LL CREATE A DIVERSION_

_Kuroo: fast bro, they are threatening to force the lock_

Bokuto hastily finished brushing his teeth and put on the closest clothes he spotted. That was how, at 6am on a Wednesday, he had to get out of his room wearing an old anime shirt and tiny shorts. His boyfriend was so much trouble, but he loved him like that. The teen was walking down the corridor leading to the communal toilet when he noticed something was wrong. No one was furiously knocking on the bathroom’s door. Even worse, no one was even waiting in line in front of it.

Suddenly, Bokuto remembered what day it was. It was April Fool’s day; a holiday during which he often was the unfortunate victim of Kuroo’s numerous dumb pranks. That would surely explain why his best friend had wanted to get him to leave their room. He took his phone out, texting irately.

_You: you stupid fuck, you thought i’d fall for that? wait until i get into the toilet and tickle you to death before you can prank me ;) ;)_

Cautiously, he opened the door. He looked up, waiting for a bucket full of water to fall on his head, but nothing happened. His eyes scanned the room, searching for his friend. Strangely, he was nowhere to be seen. His nerves at edge, waiting to be attacked at any moment, Bokuto silently walked back to the room he shared with Kuroo. He hoped he wouldn’t wake up the other students; he didn’t want to be brutally murdered by Tanaka, a bald guy who especially cherished his sleeping time.

“Kuroo? Babe, if you prank me you’ll regret it _so_ fucking much…” Bokuto claimed, standing in the doorstep. He turned his head to the left, wondering if his boyfriend was hiding in their bathroom. That is when Kuroo, who was hidden behind a couch at Bokuto’s right, came out and blew on an air horn, provoking a sound so strident he thought he would become deaf. He was wearing an evil clown mask they had bought for Halloween last year.

“April Fool’s!” He screamed, practically jumping Bokuto from behind. The poor boy had just stopped screaming, his hand brought to his heart as if he just had a heart attack. Kuroo sincerely hoped he hadn’t.

Bokuto brutally pushed him away, yelling every single swear word he could think of. He felt like his soul had just left his body and he was still trying to catch his breath. His right ear was buzzing. At that exact moment, he decided that his revenge would be one hundred times worse.  Still ignoring Kuroo, he headed straight to the kitchen, deciding it was time to eat one last meal before dying because of one of his boyfriend’s terrible jump scares.

He was quietly eating a grilled-cheese when the culprit appeared, holding a box full of honey donuts, Bokuto’s number one food in the world. “Come on, stop sulking…I bought your favorites, so you can forgive me now.”

Kuroo kissed his lover’s forehead before handing him one of the pastries. Bokuto took a huge bite of the donut, eating it all at once, suddenly forgetting all about the pranks he was planning to pull.

The thing was; the vanilla on top of the pastry wasn’t vanilla. It was mayonnaise, and there was a whole lot of it. Bokuto almost choked, spitting out everything he had in his mouth. He looked up at Kuroo, who was laughing so hard he had to wipe the tears out of his eyes. At least, someone seemed to be enjoying themselves here. That wouldn’t last very long, though.

As his boyfriend was still bent in two on the kitchen’s floor, Bokuto subtly took a blue bottle of the shelf and rushed to the bathroom. He grabbed Kuroo’s toothbrush and poured a few drops of the food colorant on it, carefully making it as though it was invisible. Then, he proceeded to find baby powder in the mess that was their cabinet. He emptied it inside the hair dryer, well aware of the chaos that would ensue. No one was allowed to ruin his favorite food; not without getting a pay back.

Bokuto walked out of the bathroom as if nothing was wrong, assuring Kuroo that he didn’t hold a grudge. It was just a prank, after all! Content of what he had achieved, the black-haired boy smiled, announcing that he was going to take a shower before going to his Psychology class.

About fifteen minutes later, a terrified Kuroo ran towards Bokuto, hiding his mouth with his hand. When he removed it and started to talk, his teeth were bright blue.

“Bo, I _knew_ you would pull off something like that! How the hell am I supposed to go to class like this?” He shouted, throwing a pillow at him before rushing back to where he came from to brush his teeth again, with a different toothbrush this time. Relaying on the horrified and desperate groans coming from the bathroom, Bokuto figured that the color wasn’t going to wash off any time soon.

Five minutes later, Bokuto finally heard the sound of a hair dryer. This time, Kuroo shrieked loud and clear for everybody to hear, earning them a loud thud on the wall from their neighbors. Well, this was going to be a lot of fun.

The victim’s locks were entirely white and the mix of powder with water had created lumps in his hair. A lot of the product had also gotten on his face. Bokuto couldn’t help but burst out laughing. His boyfriend should’ve known better than to provoke him. When it came to pranks, it was a tremendously serious matter for the both of them.

Kuroo finally left for class after having obviously missed most of it. When he left, Bokuto stepped back into the kitchen, promptly finding the thing he was looking for. He cautiously opened a box full of Oreos, Kuroo’s favorite’s cookies. He lifted the crunchy parts with a knife and replaced the white stuffing with a generous amount of toothpaste. He carefully placed them back on the shelf, as if they hadn’t been touched. He wasn’t kidding around when he had said he wanted revenge.

Proud of himself, Bokuto went back to bed. The only class he had that day had been cancelled. Obviously, with the roommate he had, sleeping in was a very bad decision.

*******

Later that day, the white-haired teen brusquely woke up when he felt something, apparently his own hand, slap his face. The thing was; said hand was filled with shaving cream and he now had some inside his eye, blurring his vision and making him yell in anger. The prank war had only just started, it seemed. His next vengeance would be sweet.

“Tetsurou, I fucking hate you!”

“I love you too, Kou,” was his playful answer. When Bokuto finally wiped the cream out of his sleepy face, he noticed a small bowl full of hot water on the pedestal table next to his bed. Soaking someone’s fingers in this while they were sleeping would lead to an inevitable leak. Slowly making the connection between the bowl and the odd wetness he had felt in his own sheets, he jumped on Kuroo and threatened to rip off his hair if he ever showed this to anyone. The culprit just smirked, revealing his blue front teeth. He mockingly announced he had already informed Lev, which was basically the same as saying he had told everyone.

Bokuto was already planning his next prank. He pretended to be texting Akaashi, but he truly was looking for a mix of multiple jokes that would give Kuroo the final blow. Finally, after making a list of numerous things that would generate one huge plan, he decided to put his arrangement into action.

As Kuroo was lazily lying on the couch reading a random manga, Bokuto walked into their room and took out three of his lover’s favorite shirts. He watchfully cut holes directly on where his nipples would appear. His friend would have a pleasant surprise next time he would put on his clothes.

*******

“I’m going to get myself some chicken nuggets, want some?” Bokuto asked, already putting on his boots.

“Sure, thank you, babe,” Kuroo responded, unaware of what was being plotted behind his back. The thing was; he had also been secretly planning some merciless gags.

Bokuto was planning on putting ghost pepper inside the nuggets, which was one of the spiciest things to ever ingest. His roommate wasn’t a big fan of spicy food in general; his papillae were quite sensitive. He couldn’t wait to witness his reaction, since it would surely be extreme and hilarious. Bokuto just hoped he wouldn’t kill his boyfriend during that experiment.

Next, he rushed to the drugstore and unearthed some really large, old lady style underwear. When he got back home, he would write Kuroo’s name on them with a permanent marker and leave them on the floor of the communal toilet for everyone to see. Last but not least, Bokuto bought a small speaker and with which he would record the words “She is coming for you”. He would set the noise setting to a whisper and adjust his voice so it would appear higher and sound like a little girl’s. Finally, he would subtly press on the speaker’s remote and play the recording while his roommate was sleeping. Since he would be pretending to be asleep, his boyfriend would be scared to death. Coincidently, Kuroo was extremely terrified of evil spirits, especially ghosts of small children.

Excited at the idea of scaring the crap out of his best friend, Bokuto decided to call Nishinoya, their left neighbor who also seemed to enjoy pulling cruel jokes on his companions. He was short and, with a wig on, he would look exactly like the vengeful apparition of a little girl. The white-haired boy bought the wig as he was conversing on the phone with Nishinoya. The boy had immediately accepted, his only condition being that Tanaka could hide a secret camera in their room and film the whole scene. The deal was concluded.

As he ultimately entered his room, Bokuto felt the palpable tension in the air. They were both well aware that the prank war wasn’t truly over; they just didn’t know what to expect from the other. The shorter guy removed his shoes, leading him to realise that he couldn’t. His damned boyfriend surely had deposited crazy glue inside of them. That meant both his socks and brand new sneakers were completely ruined. Well, he guessed that was karma for cutting holes into Kuroo’s favorite t-shirts.

The messy haired boy smirked and ruffled his boyfriend’s hair before he could say anything. They sat down at the table, chatting about random things that had happened today. Bokuto was recounting his strange nightmare to Kuroo when the latter finally brought the first ghost pepper nugget to his mouth. As he started to chew, blood suddenly drained from his face and he started sweating heavily, screaming and spitting out the food.

He ran back and forth around the kitchen without knowing what to do. He tried to drink water, but the liquid only made the burn worse. Bokuto tried not to die of laughter as he watched the whole scene. He finally took pity on his friend, offering him bread and milk to calm the terrible burning feeling inside his mouth.

“Kou, it burns inside my throat, I think fire is going to come out of my ass,” Kuroo panted, breathing with difficulty. Sweat was running down his face and back. He had been lucky not to eat the entire nugget in one bite like Bokuto had done with his donut previously that day. He had to admit this was probably a bad idea; it really seemed to hurt.

“I’m going to get you some Oreos, I’m so sorry,” the culprit apologized, secretly laughing behind his hand. He hoped toothpaste wouldn’t worsen his stinging pain.

Kuroo gulped down the cookies in a few seconds, spitting them out on the floor a few seconds later, a horrified painted on his face. “What the fuck! How could you do this to my Oreos? This is worse than the pepper nuggets.”

“Well, you started it with the donuts. They are sacred, bro,” Bokuto retorted, crossing his arms on his chest and laughing once more.

*******

Obviously, Kuroo’s prank came when Bokuto least expected it. He was taking a shower, lost in his own thoughts, when he suddenly noticed the terribly bright color on his hands. As far as he knew, his shampoo wasn’t magenta. He hastily rinsed his hair and got out of the shower, panicked. Dye would stick to his white hair and it would be a pain to wash off. He prayed that it didn’t have time to fuse while he was wondering about the meaning of life under the hot water.

Sadly, it had. His white locks were now bright pink and he looked completely ridiculous. Kenma had once dyed his hair pink and it had been quite fashionable, but Bokuto looked like he was coming out straight of a bubblegum package. He yelled Kuroo’s name and asked him how long it was supposed to last.

“About three days or so,” he answered. “Also, I saw the holes you made for my nipples. Very trendy, I must admit.”

“I know right? You’ll be like that blonde chick in Mean Girls,” Bokuto replied, stealing a swift kiss from Kuroo’s lips as he smiled. His boyfriend always knew how to make him feel better, even though he was the cause of his troubles.

That night, Bokuto knew he wasn’t going to get any sleep. He furtively communicated with Nishinoya via texts, telling him that he would send him a smiley face as soon as Kuroo woke up. His friend was a light sleeper, so it probably wouldn’t take too long. The whole operation would start at 2am.

The first recording went off and, even though he was the one who made it, Bokuto shivered. The voice sounded just like the echo of a little girl’s whisper. He already felt guilty of scaring his roommate like that, but it was worth it. Their video could even become famous.

After three times, Kuroo finally started to move in his sleep. He groaned and, when the voice played again, Bokuto heard the steady rhythm of his breathing going faster. He clandestinely texted the smiley faces to Nishinoya, sensing his own heartbeat speed up. He felt a hand on his hip as his companion tried to wake him up.

“Koutarou, I heard a weird voice…Wake up. Babe, wake up, I know it’s you, stop playing,” Kuroo murmured, visibly petrified. That is when Bokuto clicked on the remote again, setting off the recording for a fourth time. His lover clearly heard it this time and panicked.

“Babe, are you dead? Oh, god, they killed you. I’m going to fucking die,” the scared teen blurted out, shaking Bokuto’s shoulders and looked around frantically, searching for the source of the sound.

A creaking noise could be heard as the doorknob rotated at a snail's pace. Bokuto had left the door unlocked before going to bed. Kuroo was trembling beside him, clutching to his shirt desperately. He felt really culpable, but that video would be a fantastic thing to watch when they’re older…If his boyfriend didn’t break up after this, that is.

“Good bye, cruel world,” the black-haired boy stuttered as the door finally opened completely. These words were quickly followed by a blood-curdling scream as Kuroo finally distinguished the form of a small long-haired girl standing in the doorstep. Nishinoya had really put his heart into it; he was wearing a white ripped dress and his face was paler than usual.

The pretended apparition crawled towards Kuroo’s bed, groaning. Bokuto, who felt like his flesh was going to be ripped off with how much force his boyfriend was holding on to him, brusquely sat up and hugged him.

“Tetsu, this was a prank, I’m so sorry, I’m the worst. I _knew_ you were afraid of ghosts, and….”

When Tanaka entered the room and turned on the light, Kuroo’s reaction wasn’t exactly what he was expecting it to be. “You’re alive? Thank God!” he shouted, hugging Bokuto back, nearly crushing his ribs.

“This was still the worst thing you’ve ever done to me, you fucker,” he added, trying to wipe the tears out of his eyes in a subtle manner. “I didn’t think seeing you in a dress would ever make me this happy, Noya.”

Nishinoya truly looked out of place in his white dress, wig and pale makeup. Tanaka was clapping his back and assuring him that he looked ‘super hot in that dress’ when the short boy suddenly spoke up. He picked something off the floor and looked at them with interrogation points in his eyes.

“Bokuto, what happened to your hair? Also, can you _please_ tell me what the fuck that is?” He asked with disgust, holding a pair of old lady underwear with Kuroo’s name written on it with the tip of his fingers.

With everything that had happened that night, Bokuto had forgotten to leave the panties in the communal bathroom. To be honest, this truly had been the weirdest day of his entire life, but what else could be expecting when he was living with Kuroo Tetsurou?

**Author's Note:**

> IF SOMEONE PULLED THAT GHOST THING ON ME I WOULD PROBABLY DIE, LMAO. Thanks to Ronan and Jet for the help on this. Also, fun fact: the intro in which Kuroo tells Bokuto he is stuck in a bathroom because his shit blocked the toilet actually happened to me in the movie theater. My friend didn't create a diversion and I had to run away in shame, though.
> 
> I already have my ideas for all the next drabbles, eh eh eh. I love Bokuroo Week so far! Tell me your Tumblr urls so I can follow you and talk to you about this beautiful ship (if you want). xxxx


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